“God’s not done with you yet.”
I often hear people use common phrases like, “Thank you for your service” offered in appreciation to military personnel, or “I’m sorry for your loss” conveying sympathy in times of grief.
Similarly, often when I share encouraging news about my health – whether it’s positive scan results or other health indicators – I frequently hear another phrase “God’s not done with you yet” often said with enthusiasm and hope. This was certainly the case last week.
CT Scan Results
We moved up my scan schedule because my CA 19-9 markers were starting to trend upwards with an almost 80% increase. It was pretty unnerving thinking about what that possibly might mean.
Thankfully, the CT scan showed encouraging news – the tumor had actually shrunk since my last scan, and additionally, my most recent CA 19-9 levels dropped significantly! Both of these results came as a huge relief and something that I’m incredibly grateful for. The purpose of these scans and blood markers is to help us see whether the current treatment is working – whether the tumor is slowing down, stabilizing, or ideally, shrinking. This time we got the kind of news that we were praying for.
Until my next CT scan, which may be several months away, I’m grateful to share that this most recent scan showed the tumor at its smallest size since the start of my clinical trial, back when the therapy was at its most effective.
Although I’ve been off the clinical trial since April, the standard chemotherapy treatment I’m currently on is doing its job. And to answer a question I’m often asked: yes, it’s fairly safe to assume that I’ll be on chemo for the rest of my life.
Plan B – Clinical Trials
I would like to help make clinical trials more accessible for everyone, including myself.
Even though I truly value the care I receive at UCLA and hope to continue treatment there, my oncologist and I agree that I need to stay open to other clinical trial options in case my tumor markers go up again or my current chemotherapy stops working.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in this process is the importance of preparation. When seeking clinical trials, it’s important to reach out to the trial coordinator early and schedule a consultation. That first step helps establish communication and allows them to access my medical records in advance. If I can get that done before I need a trial, all the better.
That way, if/when the time comes, the groundwork is already in place and I can quickly find out whether I qualify for any available trials. Otherwise, if I’ve never been seen by the institution before, the delay in getting started can be months – and for pancreatic cancer patients, sometimes we just don’t have that kind of time.
There’s a promising trial that’s happening at A2Bio.com. I made it through the initial screening, but unfortunately, it turns out that I’m not a candidate to proceed further.
There’s also growing excitement around the drug my friend Bobby was on. It’s shown incredible results, and there’s a chance I may qualify for it too. It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year since Bobby passed. I miss my good friend. I’m thankful for his friendship and for his participation in a clinical trial research that not only helped him, but it paved the way for countless others down the line.
Judge Caprio
I want to take a moment to express my gratitude for Judge Frank Caprio for both his character and testimony while he faced pancreatic cancer since diagnosis in 2023.
Often when people found out that I had pancreatic cancer, they would mention his name. I watched him before his diagnosis and was moved by his compassion and genuine care for others. I found his heart for people endearing. I also found his requests for prayers humble and vulnerable.
In one of his last videos, he simply and humbly asked us to pray for him, and sadly, he was gone within days.
Prayer Requests
- Please join me in thanking God for the encouraging news – that my tumor has continued to shrink. I’m very grateful for this progress.
- As we continue with the current chemotherapy, I’ll start to lay groundwork and open communications with other local clinical research hospitals. Please pray for wisdom, clarity, and favor as we prepare for the possibility of a future clinical trial.
- It’s now been two years since my diagnosis – something I’m truly thankful for. At the same time, two years of ongoing chemotherapy can take a toll on the body. I’m grateful for your continued prayers for strength, healing, and rest during my recovery periods.
“God’s not done with you yet” – Acknowledging Mixed Meanings
While I truly appreciate the encouragement behind the phrase, “God’s not done with you yet,” it often leads me to reflect more on what that actually means.
Sometimes, I get sad thinking about friends who aren’t with us anymore. I wonder what that phrase would even mean for them – like that God was “done” with them, implying that their purpose on Earth was fulfilled? That can be a difficult thought especially for grieving families who feel that their loved one’s journey was cut far too short.
And If the phrase means that I still have some earthly “assignment” to finish, it can feel like a heavy burden, especially while I’m dealing with chemotherapy and the realities of a shorter life expectancy.
This past week, I realized something: the more spiritual peace I feel, the less concerned I am about chasing my defined “purpose.” But when my spiritual strength dips or gets challenged, I sometimes feel this urge to find and define what my life’s purpose is. When I look closer, this usually comes from an internal need to justify why I’m still here, especially when others didn’t get that chance, or just to justify my life in general.
At the heart of it, I guess it really comes down to feeling like I am “enough.” From that solid place, I can comfortably make decisions about how to live out all the amazing blessings I’ve experienced in my life. The motivation shifts from trying to prove something to simply wanting to bless others.
This realization doesn’t happen all the time, but when it does, it brings a sense of freedom and peace.
P
