Merry Christmas!

Christmas Dim Sum

I remember Christmas about 35 years ago when I took my Dad out to dim sum after a church service. He had come out to hear me sing a solo, and now, it was just me and him and a bunch of dumplings.

We went over the Christmas story, and I just wanted to make sure he understood what it was about and how Easter was actually the important holiday.

Having not grown up spiritual, my view on Christianity had changed from some distant religion to something that had humbled me, broken my heart, and just made sense. It was something I accepted on faith, and still do today.

But it made sense to me… if someone were offering to pay off your house mortgage, and all you had to do was acknowledge that you couldn’t pay it off, and they would go to the bank and take care of it for you, why wouldn’t you let them pay it for you?

I felt that the reason why I and others hadn’t become Christians was that we just didn’t understand what it was about.

I went over everything with my Dad and made sure he understood. He said he did. I asked if he wanted to become a Christian, and he declined.

Hmm. He understood but doesn’t want it. Maybe I didn’t explain it correctly. But no, he understood… but he said he didn’t believe it.

Ahhh…

Believe It

I have met people who attended church for years and seemingly understood the premise of Christianity. They even believed all the main points. They believed in God and that Jesus’ death could pay the price for all sins past present and future… for all mankind.

Yet, for their own reasons, they didn’t choose it.

So, someone can understand the concepts, even believe them to be possible, but still choose not to want that for themselves, and God recognizes and respects that choice. 

So.. 

Right now, although I thought I had led a life that was in frequent communication with God, and more depending on God than trying to control my own life, well… with this diagnosis, the rubber has hit the road. Believing or not in God seems more real and tangible than before.

I realize how much this faith is built on a very fallible resource, my own faith.

My faith simultaneously ebbs and flows, it’s strong enough to not be afraid of death, but sometimes shows its frailty when I think about living with unknowns. I always thought my life could be taken at any moment, but that seems so much more tangible now. And that’s even while my treatment is going well.

I always felt I’d have time to tend to or amend things as I go along. It has freed me to take chances and prioritize things. I could always fix it later.

But, now the path forward isn’t as clear and seems a little more finite than before.

I Like Costco 

I like Costco. I like their chicken and inexpensive gas.

If I ever share with you how I can make over 4 meals out of their roast chicken, I’m just sharing with you because I want you to benefit from it as well.

I’m not trying to sell you anything. There’s no referral kickback that I’m aware of 😀. Except I might bump into you there, and we can share a free sample of something together.

So if I or another Christian enthusiastically share with you about our faith experience please know we’re not trying to “sell” you anything. 

Like I said before, I don’t have time to lie or waste either my or your time.

I always remember that Christmas dim sum with my Dad and how I just wanted to make sure my Dad understood what the deal was. He said no, and I still prayed for him. And to my surprise, 30+ years later, while in the ICU, he chose to change his mind.

And, I guess now maybe I’ll bump into him in a heavenly Costco, especially if there are free samples. I think he likes those.

Merry Christmas!

P

P.S. My sixth treatment is now on Wednesday, December 27.