October Update from Peter

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Long story short, I’m doing pretty well.

So far, this clinical trial has been productive and good. I’m going in for a CT scan at the time of this writing, so I’ll share the results with you when I get them back.

My tumor has continued to shrink slightly and I’m hoping that the next scan will also show good results. 

While I’m hopeful and humbly appreciative, I still want to be prepared for when things could possibly turn. I still trust (and try to trust) that God is in control. I’m so grateful for the life that I’ve had, and I continue to look forward to the future.

L.A. Cancer Challenge

This Sunday I’m participating in a cancer event. It’s a fundraiser, but oddly, even though it benefits cancer research and survivors, I didn’t really promote the event as much as I would before my diagnosis. It’s so strange because fundraising for someone else’s cause would be so much easier.

I’m also part of the Hirshberg Foundation team for this walk. Our team is led by 9 year survivor Tom Arai, who runs a pancreatic support group I attend.

With my neuropathy and other side effects, it may be difficult for me to participate or finish the walk, but either way, I’m showing up to cheer on all of the teams! I’m so proud of UCLA’s Hirshberg Foundation’s continual push for research and support regarding pancreatic cancer. I’m one of many pancreatic cancer patients who have truly benefited from their research, fundraising, and support for this community. 

Side Effects

I’m grateful that my fevers haven’t returned in the past few weeks. A little over a month ago, I experienced a bout of fever that lasted from Thursday to Tuesday. While my temperatures spiked quite high, they also dropped quickly enough that hospitalization wasn’t necessary. The current plan is to manage the fevers with Tylenol and cool showers to bring the temperature down. If the fever persists or my blood work indicates a possible infection, my doctor will take a closer look at it.

I’m still dealing with bone aches and neuropathy, but a recent adjustment to my medications has helped alleviate the pain. It’s possible I’m also getting more used to the discomfort. Either way, I’m thankful that the symptoms haven’t been as debilitating in the past few weeks.

My hair, which disappeared during this course of chemotherapy, seems to be growing back. It’s a bit strange to find myself needing to shave again. I understand that for some, losing their hair can be one of the hardest challenges to face, and I now have quite a collection of baseball caps.

On a side note, I’ve come to realize that this disease will most likely be with me for the rest of my life. With treatment, hopefully, we can manage its growth and, while this disease is aggressive, systemic, and can mutate or spread at a moment’s notice, I’m determined to stay proactive and hopeful. 

While I believe I’m at peace with this, I can’t help but feel that there are physical parts of my body that will change and may never be the same. In the past, I always felt that with some effort, like working out, I could easily get back into shape, much like hoping to ace a final exam by just cramming the night before.  But, this time feels different. I’ve also come to realize that this experience is somewhat similar to the natural process of aging. We all have skills or abilities that we may not be able to perform as well as we did a few years ago so perhaps this isn’t as unique as it seems. I guess I’m experiencing a more accelerated version of that process.  

I have friends who are older than me that are skydiving, traveling the world, and taking on all sorts of challenging adventures. Their experiences remind me that, even as we all adjust to changing abilities over time, it’s entirely possible to live full, fulfilling and productive lives while getting older. While I sometimes feel sorry for myself about not being able to participate in some of these activities, I find comfort in recognizing that this is just part of the aging process as well.  It helps me feel less alone and gives me a broader perspective on my journey. 

General Health

In the last few weeks, whenever I experienced a “minor” medical issue such as a lingering cough, sneezing, or a cut on my leg, I had to be more concerned and careful about infections due to my immunocompromised state. Previously, I would have brushed these off without a second thought, confident that my body would recover quickly with no issues. Unfortunately, now this heightened vigilance has become a part of my daily life. 

At the same time, I still need to take care of regular medical issues, like dental check-ups, etc. that aren’t related to my cancer. While these might be lower on my priority list compared to my cancer treatment, I’m making a conscious effort to address them and give them the same attention that I would have before I had cancer. I want to feel as normal as possible, and the last thing I want is to go through all this treatment only to be taken out by an infected tooth! 🙂🙄

Prayer Requests

1. That my scan preparation routine continues to work and allows me to get more accurate CT scans. I also hope the technicians continue to have clarity in reading my images.
2. That my neuropathy, bone aches, fatigue, and fevers will subside.  
3. I’m scheduled to see a specialist endocrinologist next week. I’m grateful that my team of doctors worked together to discover an elevated hormone issue and hope that this new doctor will be able to determine the best course of action to deal with it.
4. Emotionally, I’ve come to appreciate just how valuable my relationship with Bobby was. He was someone I could talk to with a great deal of transparency and I feel so fortunate to have had someone like him in my life. I miss him not just as a friend, but also as a co-laborer in this challenge. I pray for his kids and wife. Lately, I’ve also noticed a significant number of people who have either passed away or been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  While I’m grateful to have shared in their journeys, the reality of this aggressive disease can feel quite heavy at times. 

I appreciate you taking the time to read these updates and your understanding when there are gaps. I try to find a balance between sharing too much detail and keeping you informed. Recently, I’ve received messages from friends and fellow pancreatic cancer survivors checking on me and worried because they haven’t heard from me or seen a recent update. I understand how concerning it can be when someone goes quiet while dealing with this disease.  Thank you for your support!

Thanks for caring and being along for the ride. The emotions I’m experiencing are quite complex, but it truly helps to know that there are people praying for me and invested in this process. 

P