My Current Status and Prayer Requests:
My CT scan results came back, and they show that the tumor is stable, and, if anything, has shrunk a little since the last scan.
However, my two cancer marker numbers, which have been trending positively and decreasing significantly over the last few months, have shown a recent increase since the last test.
While the cancer markers can indicate increasing or decreasing trends, my disease is more definitively assessed through the CT scans, which thankfully are showing stability and even some reduction in the tumor.
I would appreciate your prayers for the effectiveness of my chemotherapy and this trial drug, as well as for my marker numbers to return to a decreasing trend. I’m also grateful that my side effects have been manageable so far, but I ask for greater or continued strength in handling them.
Since the onset of this disease, I’ve tried to prepare myself for times when I receive difficult or challenging news. I’m holding up well, reassured that God is with me, but your prayers for both my physical and emotional health truly mean a lot to me.
In my support group, I’ve met members who have been fighting this battle for 9, 12, and even 16 years. I’ve witnessed their numbers and scans fluctuate, which can feel like a rollercoaster ride. As a fellow member, I am always hoping and praying for their success, rooting for them to share positive news. Selfishly, this is not just for their sake, but for mine as well, as their journeys give me hope that overcoming this disease and living a long, productive life is possible. I’ve learned from them that just because things may take a turn, it doesn’t mean that they can’t turn back to positive again. Your prayers and support help me to stay hopeful!
On a side note, this week, we lost two long-term members of my support group, Phyllis and Shelly, who had been such a source of encouragement to everyone. It was difficult news to hear and served as a stark reminder of the aggressive nature of this disease. My thoughts and prayers are with their families.
Thanks,
P
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This was my reply to Phyllis’ husband:
Jack,
I loved Phyllis, as much as a fellow pancreatic traveler can through Zoom. She was so real, so honest, and so encouraging. Each one of us will experience her absence differently, but I always hear her appreciation of you and your care for her as she described how hard this life is on the caregivers.
She loved you, encouraged us, and surprised us every week with her smile, her strength in the midst of a difficult and dynamic time, and made me feel a little less alone. Through the internet nonetheless.
I remember trying not to show too much fear recently when she was in the hospital, but I was guided by Phyllis’ own self-concern and then self-determination to get through it. It was a nice model to be present in the moment, but looking to the future…She often spoke about how this has been a long hard road, but also, she wanted to be here as much as she could for you and other reasons…
Honestly? I’ve grown to love this little zoom group and have recently learned the weight of loving a group of people that are struggling to make the best of a life that is being threatened. But I’m not going to back away. Each one, including Phyllis, meets this trying time with strength, grace and honesty.
I’ll miss her reports of beef jerky, pets, and the garden. She was both someone that gave me a preview of a possible life with cancer a little further down the road than where I’m at right now, as well as a life that can be so honest it can be joking one moment and then turn to tears in a few minutes as she reflects on how Jack must have it so difficult.
I distinctly remember recently her talking about her neuropathy and how she saw a rabbit in the backyard, so she opened the door… I suspected she was going to tell me about the wonder of appreciating life and the beauty of nature, but she instead spoke about how her neuropathy almost caused her to fall on her keister trying to throw a rock at the threat to her garden. I cracked up so much. I loved her and appreciated her encouragement.
Phyllis, my sister from another mother, I appreciate you and can’t believe you and/or Shelly have left the zoom chat. Two people honest enough to be scared in the midst of challenges, but also offering a smile to encourage others within the same conversation.
Tom [the support group leader], thanks for this group, and the fact that my heart is broken. Contrary to wishes to protect myself, I’d rather miss good memories and good people than to have walked alone. I’d rather my heart break for a loss than be sitting in isolation wondering if what’s happening to me makes sense. This group has primarily given me a place where the insanity and inconsistency of this disease has become obvious, and I’m glad I’m able to process this information and emotions with fellow travelers.
Thanks,
Peter
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” -Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV)
