Easter April 2026 – Sunday’s Coming

In the church, there’s a phrase, “But Sunday’s Coming.”

It’s Passion week of Good Friday and Easter Sunday – where Jesus died and things were dark, lacking hope and often misunderstood…but some knew that there was reason to hold on to hope, because He would rise from the dead.  Easter Sunday was just a few days ahead.

This phrase has been going through my head many times in the last few weeks. 

My Clinical Trial

I’ve begun a new clinical trial, which is the best next step in treating my cancer. It works by targeting tumors that carry a specific protein (CDH3) and minimally affecting the healthy cells. 

As an early stage trial drug, it is tested to determine the most effective and safe dosage level. Because of that, I’m being closely monitored throughout the trial.

I’ve been experiencing some side effects, including sores and rashes. Although I knew a rash was a possible side effect, I didn’t expect it to be this painful and to spread over so much of my torso.

When reporting to my doctor, he noted that the rash was quite significant and I should have notified him sooner.  As a cancer patient, it can be difficult to know which symptoms are urgent and which can wait – you don’t want to overreact, but at the same time, it’s easy to downplay something serious.

Based on my last infusion, I was hoping and waiting for this wave of rash to peak and start improving sooner. Some management medications have been prescribed and hopefully, we’ll get a handle on this soon.

But Sunday’s Coming

While I was waiting and praying for the pain to ease, I kept telling myself, “Sunday’s coming…”

Whether I’m dealing with painful side effects, or the ups and downs of treatment, or just life in general, I keep coming back to the same thought—there is hope. 

“Sunday’s coming.” I believe there can be a sense of peace and perspective that makes even our hardest times more bearable. And even if it doesn’t come quickly, a life with hope is far better than one relying only on our own strength.

Last Easter

This Easter season, I wonder again, is this my last Easter? The rash pain was so much and so draining of my energy that I had to skip this year’s Good Friday Service. It is increasingly apparent how often I have taken for granted opportunities to attend church.

Thank God my church offers a livestream of services. But as I watched laying motionless, prostrated more by my rash than reverence to God, I felt this is the real part about Sunday’s Coming … It’s the immobility. It’s lying still and knowing there was nothing I could do. But heal.

I wanted to be actively “healing” whatever that meant, applying lotions,  taking pills, but I had to just lay still and let my skin absorb the prescribed cream.. 

The Bible says, “He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’” (Psalm 46:10)

I had looked forward to being at the Good Friday church service, but here I was alone, quiet and feeling helpless. And when I remembered the irony of that verse, I knew that the important thing was to trust God in that quietness. And in my impotence.

I have talked with many people in similar positions where through medicine or fate we wonder how we’re supposed to live out this “extra” time… Is it in travel, service, stillness?

I don’t know how I’m supposed to use my time. I have no children or spouse to “live for,” so is it for God? Then in what ways do I serve Him? Feeding the needy? Doing something noble? 

I don’t always know the answer, but I have had enough opportunities that I have a simple rule: I ask God where He wants me to be and show up. Sometimes that means to serve someone a meal, other times that means lie on my bed and heal. And in all cases, I try to seek and reflect hope.

I ask of you and of myself, to try and have hope, and sometimes that starts with the humility to admit that we need hope, and that sometimes the world is hard and scary.

But we keep our heads up, even in that humble state. Sunday’s coming. It’s stronger than “hang in there baby.” It’s a deep deep painful hope that there is hope and even resurrection in the midst of angst. Sunday’s coming. Not just Easter week, but every week. Sunday’s coming.

My Current Status

Since January, my marker numbers have continued to rise, to their highest levels since my diagnosis. But my latest blood test showed a significant drop in my CA 19-9 level. This news gave me encouragement and a purpose to the painful side effects, but the true indicator of the trial’s effectiveness will come with my next CT-scan results which will be taking place on April 8th.  

The same day, I’ll also be getting an ophthalmologic exam since the treatment can affect vision, though I haven’t noticed any issues. 

Interestingly, within half an hour of my second infusion, I felt some sharp, stabbing pains in an area where I’ve had some tumor pain before.  I’m hoping much like Neo in The Matrix, the medicine is infiltrating and fighting it out with my tumors.

Prayer Requests:

1. That the clinical trial continues to result in good tumor marker numbers.
2. For a clear CT scan, showing that my tumor is shrinking or at least not growing.
3. That I have a good dermatology appointment next week to manage my side effects.
4. That my side effects lessen and become more manageable. Not only for me, but for future patients on this medication.
5. That my participation on the Hirshberg symposium panel goes well.
6. Encouragement and hope for all that have had difficult times this year.

Feelings

Most of this rash has been painful, but it often starts out as an itchiness. My first instinct is to scratch, but I know it’s not right, I know it’ll only make wounds worse and my healing slower. But it’s what I feel like doing. I keep trying to remember this with my life as well. As much as I value intuition, hunches and feelings, I can’t give everything to them without taking a big picture of my life based just on those feelings. That’s how addictions, idealization and other non-helpful things take hold.

Toothpaste

Oh and as a footnote to a previous post… one of the side effects I’ve been trying to manage is the mouth sores. That means that I’ve been brushing and flossing and mouth rinsing pretty often. I went through a tube of toothpaste pretty quickly. So I went back to Costco and bought the five tubes. I felt rather bold and defiant that I’ll be using them. Lol. I shall not live in fear and will (occasionally) buy in bulk.

Thank you again for your continued support, and I wish everyone a blessed Easter filled with the hope of His everlasting love.

P